IN MY SHOES: Are You Man Enough For A Real Woman?
The Stiletto got a chuckle out of reading about Spanish actress Penelope Cruz having to wear a prosthetic ass to play a character who was supposed to resemble a 1950s Italian bombshell in Pedro Almodovar’s new movie, "Volver." Almodovar wanted Cruz to wear the fake ass to round out her figure. In a Reuters article he described her as having "a small head, an ample bosom but a ‘slender ass’."
Meanwhile, the wire service reports that regional authorities in Madrid have banned stick-thin models from participating in a fashion show, and are requiring a body mass index (BMI) of 18. "Medics will be on hand at the September 18-22 show to check models." Officials in Italy are considering a similar move.
As a woman whose bod has been described as "juicy" and "zaftig," because of her ample bosom and ghetto booty (yeah, baby, she gives you something to look at coming and going – and it’s all G-d given, not man-made), The Stiletto applauds these developments in how popular culture is defining female beauty.
Just as strong, slightly scruffy men replaced manicured metrosexuals as the ideal of male pulchritude after 9/11 and the War on Terror, it’s time for T&A to make a comeback, and bump-and-grind heroin chic into the dust.
If The Stiletto were a Freudian she would point out that a man who is attracted to, or sleeps with, a woman who is built like a young boy is either insecure in his manhood, or has latent homosexual inclinations. Fortunately, she attributes Freud’s "insights" into human behavior and motivations as being nothing more than cocaine-fueled hallucinations that sound plausible – brilliant, even – only if you, too, blow snow.
Take penis envy, for instance. How can women envy not having something that is ridiculously easy to get, seeing as how you guys want to give it to us 24/7?
But, The Stiletto digresses. It’s high time that someone like Scarlett Johansson brings voluptuousness back to the Silver Screen. Maybe one day, actresses won’t have to wear fake asses to look alluring.
Did you ever notice that every sex manual from Ovid’s Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love) to the Kama Sutra to The Joy of Sex includes pages and pages of erotic acts that require a woman to have an ample bosom and a ghetto booty, but little or nothing involving a titless woman who has a slender ass?
As the inimitable Chaka Khan put it: Problem is you ain't been loved like you should. What I got to give will sure 'nuff do you good.
Trackbacks
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February 7, 2007
The Stiletto wrote:
Upon learning that Monica Lewinsky, 33, graduated from the prestigious London School of Economics with master of science degree in social psychology, Washington Post staff writer Libby Copeland was jolted down to the DNA in her bone marrow: “She did not!!” The notion that “the same bubbly gal who once described the act of flashing her thong at the president as a ‘small, subtle, flirtatious gesture’ has now written a lofty-sounding thesis … ‘In Search of the Impartial Juror: An Exploration of the Third Person Effect and Pre-Trial Publicity’” was, Copeland ... -
February 8, 2007
The Stiletto wrote:
The Stiletto was reading an article in The Washington Post about The House passing a bill that would ease President Bush's restrictions on human embryonic stem cell research by a vote of 253 to 174 - short of the two-thirds majority needed to override an expected presidential veto. She then decided to check out which Republicans voted with the Dems in favor of H.R. 3 and vice versa. The Post broke the vote down by party affiliation, state, region, "boomer status," gender and – get this – astrological sign. Though The Stiletto can’t quite figure out how this information ... -
February 9, 2007
The Stiletto wrote:
As The Stiletto was walking down E Capitol Street one dayNancy Pelosi looked at her and said her 100 Hours Watch had stopped cold deadAnd The Stiletto saidDoes anybody really know what time it isDoes anybody really careIf so The Stiletto can’t imagine whyShe’s a single woman, like Condolezza RiceAnother Cockamamie Lib Idea Fails The Real World Test In one of those rare instances of The New York Times waking up and smelling the coffee, the paper reports that "safe haven laws" in 47 states – which allow mothers to legally and anonymously abandon their newborns at ... -
February 11, 2007
The Stiletto wrote:
Preparing For Your Mammogram- HealthDay News, January 22, 2007 Editorial Note: Being a curious sort, The Stiletto once asked a mammography technician how the procedure is performed on flat chested women. Those of us who are well endowed dread this test because our boobs have to be smashed between two X-ray plates until almost completely flattened – and it hurts! Well, it turns out that it’s rather difficult to do this test on a woman with tiny titties. Technicians will actually use a tongue depressor to spread what little mammary tissue there is onto the X-ray plate. ... -
February 20, 2007
The Stiletto wrote:
The Stiletto was reading an article in The Washington Post about The House passing a bill that would ease President Bush's restrictions on human embryonic stem cell research by a vote of 253 to 174 - short of the two-thirds majority needed to override an expected presidential veto. She then decided to check out which Republicans voted with the Dems in favor of H.R. 3 and vice versa. The Post broke the vote down by party affiliation, state, region, "boomer status," gender and – get this – astrological sign. Though The Stiletto can’t quite figure out how this information ...
I don't like breasts referred to as "tits".
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This article is a BB tease without a picture of the author.
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I concede the point. However, like all assassins, The Stiletto prefers to be the "unseen hand."
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