NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER: Can You Microwave My Wiener?
Leslye Creighton, 41, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct for microwaving a fake penis filled with urine at a GetGo! convenience store on February 23rd. Charges against her boyfriend, Vincent Bostic, 31, were dropped after he agreed to pay $425 to replace the store's microwave. It seems that Bostic filled the fake penis with his urine, which Creighton wanted warmed in the microwave so it would be at body temperature during a pre-employment drug test she was required to take. But the store clerk thought the couple had given him a severed penis to put in the microwave and called police. Creighton, of Wilkinsburg, PA, could be fined as much as $300 and get up to 90 days in jail when she is sentenced Nov. 15th.
- The Associated Press, September 15, 2006
Editorial Note: The Stiletto is rather confused on one point: The boyfriend was not taking the drug test, but supplied clean urine for his girlfriend’s use as her own bodily fluid was presumably tainted. Why then, was she taking a fake penis with her instead of, say, a thin vial inserted where a tampon would go? Wouldn’t it have aroused suspicion when she whipped the thing out in the ladies’ room? Clearly, this entire enterprise was doomed to failure from start to finish.
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