WHAT A HEEL!: Man Files Fake Obit To Get Out Of Work; Ted Rall Posts Fake Obit To Get Back At Ann Coulter
James Snyder, of Stout allegedly filed a fake obituary for his girlfriend's 17-year-old son with the Waterloo-Cedar Falls Courier newspaper last December to get out of work. Charged with tampering with records, Snyder entered an Alford plea admitting no guilt, but agreeing prosecutors had enough evidence to win a conviction. His one year jail sentence was suspended to seven days. The undead teen's mother, Mary Jo Elizabeth, was charged with accessory after the fact and was sentenced to 30 days in jail, which was suspended to a year's probation. The scam came to light when people who knew the teen saw him at a restaurant and called authorities.
In a completely unrelated development, ultra-left wing cartoonist Ted Rall posted his own fake obit of conservative author Ann Coulter on his blog that he claimed had been assigned by "an unnamed humor magazine" that since killed the piece. Some excerpts:
Coulter died from injuries sustained on September 11, 2006, when the historic replica of a dirigible in which she was riding exploded over the Hudson River near Ground Zero in lower Manhattan. … Investigators from the National Transportation Safety Board believe that Coulter initiated the accident when she fired a pistol as she stormed the airship's flight deck in the mistaken belief that its bearded pilot was an Islamic hijacker.
President Bush awarded her the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian award, for her 'valorous Valkyrie-like vigilance. …
Shortly before her accident at the 9/11 "Five More Years" bash, Coulter came under fire when it came to light that her most recent promotional photo had been digitally airbrushed to make her look significantly heavier. The touched-up photo seemed to add 20 pounds to her trademark skeletal frame, angering activists in the anorexia-acceptance movement. "At 87 pounds Ann is a beautiful woman, an inspiration to college girls and genocide survivors the world over," said Rosie O'Donnell, who slashed two-thirds of her body weight in tribute to Coulter. "If anything, they should have Photoshopped her vertically to make her look even skinnier."
In accordance with her wishes, Coulter's ashes will be scattered across the grave of Buchenwald overseer Ilse Koch at Aichach women's prison in Bavaria. She is survived by ex-boyfriends Dinesh D'Souza, the conservative author, television talk show host Bill Maher and Spin magazine founder Bob Guccione, Jr.
The Stiletto thinks the 15-paragraph obit is payback for Coulter making a joke that Rall had entered Iran's Holocaust cartoon contest.
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