IN MY SHOES: I Have A Biological Father, But Not A “Dad”
Writing in The Washington Post, Katrina Clark, 18, an undergrad in the hearing program at Gallaudet University, describes what’ is like growing up knowing that your father was an anonymous sperm donor:
When she was 32, my mother - single, and worried that she might never marry and have a family - allowed a doctor wearing rubber gloves to inject a syringe of sperm from an unknown man into her uterus so that she could have a baby. I am the result: a donor-conceived child.
And for a while, I was pretty angry about it. …
The recipient gets sympathy for wanting to have a child. The donor gets a guarantee of anonymity and absolution from any responsibility for the offspring of his "donation."
As long as these adults are happy, then donor conception is a success, right? …
I'm here to tell you that emotionally, many of us are not keeping up. We didn't ask to be born into this situation, with its limitations and confusion. It's hypocritical of parents and medical professionals to assume that biological roots won't matter to the "products" of the cryobanks' service, when the longing for a biological relationship is what brings customers to the banks in the first place.
We offspring are recognizing the right that was stripped from us at birth - the right to know who both our parents are. …
I've never been angry at my mother - all my life she has been my hero, my everything. She sacrificed so much as a single mother, living on food stamps, trying to make ends meet. I know that many people considered her a pioneer, a trailblazer for a new offshoot of the women's movement.
May we assume that the young person from Gallaudet was born deaf? And may we also assume that the genes producing his deafness were those of his anonymous Dad? Where does responsibility lie for this presumed genetic abnormality?
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Well, the bionote on her essay said she is in the hearing program - maybe she wants to teach deaf children. But if she is deaf, the gene could have come from either side of the family.
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