THE DAILY BLADE: Santa Baby, Hurry Down The Chimney Tonight
Thanks to Clement Clarke Moore, we all know what St. Nick looks like, even though very, very few of us have actually seen the "right jolly old elf" ourselves: Twinkling eyes, merry dimples, rosy cheeks, bulbous nose, snow-white beard and a round belly that shakes when he laughs like a bowlful of jelly.
But in Los Angeles, the epicenter of narcissism, St. Nick has undergone an extreme makeover. The Washington Times reports he is now "buff," "chiseled" and "muscular." Hunky Santa – who goes by the name "St. Rick" and claims to be Santa's son - goes on duty after 5 pm at the Beverly Center mall. His assistant, Candy Cane, is a "heavily made-up … blonde, buxom Christmas version of a Playboy bunny."The Stiletto believes her function is to accommodate the few men who don’t want to sit on St. Rick’s lap.
Not Your Mother’s Poinsettia
Were the "heavily made-up" Candy Cane to buy a poinsettia, The Stiletto suspects that she’d shun those with the traditional red, pink or white leaves in favor of "painted" poinsettias that have been spray painted or sprinkled with glitter. "These treatments, said to be harmless to the plants, turn [them] into a riot of purple, blue, fuchsia, yellow, orange, silver or gold. Some plants even feature polka dots, speckles or stripes, while others are coated with custom colors to match those of a football team or a homeowner's décor," reports The Wall Street Journal (subscription required). Serious horticulturists sniff that altering the appearance of a living plant with artificial colors and sparkles is literally guiding the lily.
Taking "Christmaskah" To A Whole ‘Nother Level
In a largely Orthodox Jewish enclave south of Hollywood one home stands out on the block of 1920s Tudor and Spanish-style residences. It’s the one with a life-size Santa on the balcony, two giant inflatable snow globes on the roof, a huge polar bear in a Santa cap holding a present, and several illuminated angels and candy canes. The homeowner, like her neighbors, is Jewish.
Mary Loomis-Shrier, who grew up in the home that she now shares with her husband and son, says the Christmas decorations are a family tradition. "Some people are so offended, you have no idea," Loomis-Shrier tells The New York Times:
A neighbor in a duplex across the street, Oren Atias, an Israeli … has come across the street and yelled at her, and said, "‘What kind of Jewish girl puts a Santa in the yard?’" said Ms. Loomis-Shrier and several neighbors who saw the arguments.
Mr. Atias denied arguing with Ms. Loomis-Shrier about her Christmas decor …
"Everyone can do what they want," Mr. Atias said with a shrug. "It’s not a Muslim country." …
But other neighbors welcome the annual display:
Marilyn Corre, a British Jew who is married to a former prisoner of war of the Japanese in World War II — both were raised in Orthodox homes — said she was happy to see the display on her block.
"I think it is just wonderful," she said. "I don’t know why the Jewish people don’t decorate more."
Stocking Stuffer: Putting Christs Back Into Christmas
‘Tis the season for holly jolly Yuletide pranks. Here’s a doozy: A person or persons unknown went around Chicago's South Side and kidnapped 32 Baby Jesuses from nativity scenes in homeowners’ front yards and lined them all up along the fence bordering one woman’s property. A parishioner at St. Symphorosa, she took them to the church and gave them sanctuary until their rightful owners could reclaim them.
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