NOT THE SHARPEST KNIVES IN THE DRAWER: Space Oddity
Long before the lurid tabloid triangle involving NASA astronauts Lisa Nowak and Bill Oefelein - which allegedly compelled the diaper-wearing astronut to drive like a bat out of Hell across several state lines to pursue her rival, Colleen Shipman - the crackerjack team at NASA pondered the question: After the millions of taxpayer dollars spent psychologically screening candidates and training those who have the right stuff, what if any of them goes berserk in space?
Two words: Duct tape. NASA procedures for restraining a suicidal or psychotic astronaut aboard the space shuttle or on the international space station, obtained by The Associated Press, suggest tackling the cuckoo crewmember and using duct tape to bind the wrists and ankles, then tying him or her down with bungee cords; tranquilizers or anti-psychotic drugs may be forcibly injected, if needed.
For some reason, NASA has determined there is no need to keep a stun gun on board to subdue the psycho, so the rest of the crew has to pummel him or her into submission before applying the duct tape. Too bad they can’t use the Vulcan nerve pinch in these situations.
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