IN MY SHOES: What It’s Like To Have Big Boobs
One of The Stiletto’s friends, who appreciates curvy women (he is usually in the company of a bodaceous babe when he attends conservative functions around New York City) and enthusiastically supports her crusade against boobism, gave her a copy of the recently-published book, "Stacked: A 32DDD Reports From The Front," by journalist and children’s book author, Susan Seligson. At a 38D (DD, in a push-up or demi-cup bra) herself, The Stiletto found much in common with her even more voluptuous sister:
From page 2: "I can’t recall ever having small breasts. I remember having no breasts, but it seems I went from the Great Plains to the Tetons in the blink of an eye.
From page 41: "I did nothing to acquire the fleshy orbs that lie beside me through the night … I’ve just got ‘em … I suppose I should feel lucky, given that millions of women have undergone major surgery to get something similar …
The Stiletto didn’t have cavities as a child, so the Tooth Fairy never had cause to visit her. But the Boob Fairy did – three times. She went to sleep one night at the age of 12 looking like all the other flat-chested girls in her class; the next morning, she woke up a B cup. No kidding. By age 16, a C cup and by age 21, a D cup. Thankfully, the Boob Fairy made no more visits after that so The Stiletto has never suffered back pain, does not worry about "droopiness" and does not expect to experience any other problems associated with macromastia (the scientific term for huge hooters).
From page 5: "It isn’t just men; everyone’s obsessed with breasts. Toddlers are enthralled with my ‘boobies,’ my women friends marvel at them, my doctor and I puzzle over how much they weigh."
From birth, all five of The Stiletto’s nieces and nephews were mesmerized by her boobies; her two 8-year old nephews still are. Then there are the adult men who have turned into 8-year olds and asked how much they weigh. (Alas, one of life’s imponderables since The Stiletto has no clue how one would go about figuring this out considering that her boobs are firmly attached to the rest of her person.)
From page 19: "I noticed a man cruising beside me in his car, matching my pace and looking at my breasts as if they belonged to him and had been stolen years ago. ‘Nice tits," he called, craning his head out the window. Seconds later, he plowed into a lamppost."
The Stiletto admits that she has caused quite a few fender benders herself, just walking from Point A to Point B down the street. Several states have passed laws banning talking on a cell phone or sending text messages on a BlackBerry while driving; maybe legislators should consider anti-ogling regulations as well. Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel – OK?
Editorial Note: Thanks to Seligson, The Stiletto learned several new slang terms for big (O)(O) - and found out that titlessness does not inspire men to use their imaginations to dream up slang terms. All Seligson was able to dig up was fried eggs, mosquito bites and - The Stiletto’s personal favorite - "pirate’s dream" (as in "sunken chest").
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May 25, 2007
The Stiletto wrote:
In the first-ever, nationwide survey of Muslim Americans, the Pew Research Center suggests that 26 percent of the 2.35 million Muslims in the U.S. believe there are circumstances in which suicide bombings are acceptable. Nearly half (47 percent) think of themselves as Muslim first, American second. Among those under the age of 30, 13 percent believe suicide bombings to defend their religion are sometimes justified; 11 percent say this tactic is rarely justified; two percent say it can often be justified.The Pew Research Center interviewed 1,050 randomly selected Muslim American adults aged 18 and older, from ...
I don't like this article at all. I have no interest in reading about "boobs".
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I'm gonne need to see some pictures as proof.
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You're not the only one ... but The Stiletto needs to remain incognito so ler liberal bosses don't fire her (it's happened once before). But if you live in New York City you are likely to bump into her at Republican or Conservative events - and can judge for yourself.
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Idi, you can take my word for it. Though I have no idea how her flesh tastes. I'm just disappointed that she failed to take any photos with Ms. Seligson... She didn't even have to post her face in case anonymity was an issue...
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And how could you leave off bee stings?!
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A variation of mosquito bites. In fact, bee stings are bigger - they might be an A cup.
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That was entertaining. Never a dull moment. Now my imagination runs even more wild.
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All politics all the time would make The Stiletto a dull girl, no?
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