IN MY SHOES: What It’s Like To Have Cancer
Colleen Shaddox, a writer in Hamden, CT, is a 10-year breast cancer survivor whose “marriage has grown stronger, bouncing baby has blossomed into a gorgeous virtuoso of sarcasm, and career has taken flight.” Here, excerpts from a first-person piece published by The Washington Post, in which she describes a few of the emotional burdens she had to shoulder while battling a dread disease:
It's tough being a cancer patient. Surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and the prospect of painful, premature death are quite enough for one person to shoulder. The additional burden of sainthood is simply too much.
When strangers would observe bald little me doing something normal - grocery shopping, for example - they would beam like proud parents. "You are so brave!" they would exclaim.
Of course, grocery shopping is a necessary act, even for people with cancer, and not terribly dangerous. But my admirers persisted, as though I were suddenly extraordinary. "I could never be as brave as you!"
That oft-repeated line is telling. After all, if cancer is a disease for extraordinary people, the average Joe or Jane doesn't have to worry. Even in the psyches of the healthy, fear of cancer is enormous. Consciously or not, making cancer patients the saintly "other" helps make that fear manageable. …
When I expressed skepticism that my character could supercharge my immune system, I was often treated to impromptu sermons about keeping a positive attitude.
But linking virtue, resilience and survival dishonors those who do not survive. …
As we strive to honor those who had and those who are still fighting the disease, it's important to remember whom exactly our words are meant to comfort - the people speaking, or the people in need of support.
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