THE DAILY BLADE: Double Asterisk
Writing in Editor & Publisher, illustrator Michael Witte – also a consultant to a major league team on mechanics - explains that in addition to his "alleged" steroid use, the special, articulated armor Barry Bonds wears on his right elbow "confers [an] extraordinarily unfair mechanical advantage." Witte, who has "studied his swing countless times on video and examined the mechanical gear closely through photographs" offers a detailed explanation about how this gear "may have contributed no fewer than 75 to 100 home runs to his already steroid-questionable total":
[H]is massive "protective" gear … permits Bonds to lean over the plate without fear of being hit by a pitch. … Bonds can handle the outside pitch (where most pitchers live) unusually well. …
The apparatus is hinged at the elbow. It is a literal "hitting machine" that allows Bonds to release his front arm on the same plane during every swing. …
The apparatus locks at the elbow when the lead arm is fully elongated … The locked arm forms a rigid front arm fulcrum … Bonds hands are quicker than those of average hitters because of his mechanical "assistant."
When Bonds swings, the weight of the apparatus helps to seal his inner upper arm to his torso at impact. … he automatically hits the ball with the weight of his entire body - not just his arms …
[S]katers accelerate their spins by pulling their arms into their torsos, closer to their axes of rotation. When Bonds is confronted with an inside pitch, he spins like a skater because his upper front arm is "assistant"-sealed tightly against the side of his chest.
Bonds has additional mass (the weight of his "assistant") not available to the average hitter. The combined weight of "assistant" and bat is probably equal to the weight of the lumber wielded by Babe Ruth but with more manageable weight distribution.
Witte notes that Bonds has worn arm protection since 1992, so his gear is "grandfathered" - only proof of serious injury will enable another major leaguer to enjoy a similar exemption. The gear has "evolved" over the years: in 1994, the one-piece guard was replaced by a jointed model; in 1995 the elbow cap was replaced by a flap that locked the pieces together when the arm was extended; and since 2001 - the year of Bonds’ record 73 home runs – he’s been wearing a guard sculpted to fit his upper arm, with "a groove for the flap to slip into automatically at full arm elongation."
Witte rightly calls this a "hitting machine" and concludes: "Ultimately, it appears the Bonds 'achievement' must be regarded as partly the product of 'double duplicity' - steroidal and mechanical."
As a baseball lover, The Stiletto is sick at heart that MLB and Cooperstown are treating Bonds’ scam as a historic achievement. But if that's the way it's gonna be, then as a Yankee fan she hopes the team doctor can concoct some reason that A-Rod "needs" to wear similar gear so that Bonds’ record falls as soon as mechanically-assisted human(ly) possible.
[Editorial Note: If Bonds’ mechanical assist gives him the degree of control and power that Witte claims, then the entire "drama" of whether he would hit the "historic" home run at a home game in San Francisco was also faked. Bonds knew exactly when and where he would hit the record-breaking homer.]
Elizabeth Edwards Plays The Race Card – In Reverse
A couple of weeks back, The Stiletto played armchair psychiatrist and suggested that Elizabeth Edwards has become her husband’s "attack dog" (as Howard Kurtz put it) because she is dying and has nothing left to lose, so she’s speaking her mind like there’s no tomorrow. The Stiletto opined that her in-your-face assertiveness could have a diminishing effect on her husband.
Well, that may be the least of the worries of the Edwards campaign. In an interview with CIO Insight in which Elizabeth discusses how online media can help candidates get their message out by "bypassing the sieve of the mainstream media," she dismisses (or just disses) Obama and Hillary as have nothing going for them other than irrelevant biological factors that cannot be changed:
"With Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama hogging media coverage, campaigns can push their messages without paying for ads. … We can't make John black, we can't make him a woman. Those things get you a lot of press, worth a certain amount of fundraising dollars. Now it's nice to get on the news, but not the be all and end all."
Oh, why wait for Ann Coulter to say it? But can you make him a man? That’s worth something in fundraising dollars. Just ask Hillary.
Bob The Tortoise Needs Your Help!
Bob, the African spurred tortoise tortured within an inch of his life by a miscreant named Jose "Tony" Mosqueda is still struggling to recover at Turtle Dreams. "I’ve seen tortoises attacked by raccoons, but have never seen the extent of injury Bob had," says Jeanie Vaughan, founder and director of the animal rescue sanctuary. "Reptiles heal very slowly," she explains, adding that Bob is currently being given two antibiotics – and will need to stay on them for a long time.
Dorothy Sullivan, Bob’s owner, estimates that the tortoise’s care will come to $7,000. Worse, the emotional trauma from Mosqueda’s senseless brutality has caused her 6-year old autistic son to begin having seizures again for the first time in 18 months. He also has a rare genetic disorder and is uninsurable, so "we have to pay for all the trips to the emergency room ourselves," says Sullivan, who estimates that the family has paid $4,000 out-of-pocket since their ordeal began. "We are not wealthy people."
Sullivan is still at a loss as to why Mosqueda committed this heinous act. "I actually went to the jail to talk to him, and he could not – or would not – give me an answer. The only remorse he feels is over being in jail; he thinks it’s unfair."
A fund has been set up to cover Bob’s veterinary bills. If you would like to donate, please make your checks out to Dorothy Sullivan or Bill Sullivan c/o Bob and write this account number in the memo line: 492-105108-5. You can drop the check off at any Washington Mutual branch in CA, or mail it to the Sullivans at P.O. Box 293, Ventura, CA 93002.
Last Chance To Vote For Wounded Warriors Project
You have until Friday to vote for Wounded Warriors Project (WWP) to win a $100,000 grant from ReZoom.com, a new Web site for "active baby boomers" that is running a promotion called "A Better World" to promote its launch.
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