NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER: They Would Know His Name, If They Saw Him In Heaven (Or, Life Imitates South Park )
Jesus: [M]en are so easily led astray. St. Peter was a rabbit. And a rabbit should be Pope.
Bill: Kill him!
Pope Benedict: WHAT?!
Bill: He goes against the Church. He must die!
Pope Benedict: All right, that does it, Bill. I'm pretty sure that killing Jesus is not very Christian.
- “South Park,” Episode 1105, Fantastic Easter Special
Ryan Schallenberger, 18, under arrest for allegedly plotting to blow up Chesterfield High School in Florence, SC, told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus, reports The Associated Press. Schallenberger “faces several state and federal charges, including attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction.” If convicted he faces a life sentence on that last charge alone.
The Heel – an Ivy-educated attorney with a prestigious New York firm and an occasional contributor to this blog – quite correctly points out that even if Schallenberger had succeeded in blowing himself up to Kingdom Come, his plan to kill Jesus would have failed because St. Peter would not be bloody likely to allow him to pass through the Pearly Gates!
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