IN MY SHOES: What It’s Like To Talk To Someone With Aphasia
After Diane Ackerman’s husband of 35 years, Paul, suffered a “massive stroke” that “ravaged the language areas of his brain,” they embarked on “a six-year odyssey of relearning language on his part and caregiving on mine.” In this excerpt from her soon-to-be-published book, “One Hundred Names for Love: A Stroke, a Marriage and the Language of Healing,” Ackerman describes trying to communicate with Paul several days after his stroke:
“Hi, honey,” I said, trying to rally a small smile from somewhere in the coal pits of my belly.
Paul stared at me, his eyes declaring: What on earth are you driving at?
Then he fidgeted about as if trying to muster all the aggregate parts of his being, but finding only a blurred view of what once moved in unison, he spluttered: “Mem.” When I didn’t respond, he brought down his fist on the bed railing, repeating it in loud italics: “Mem, mem, mem!”
“Easy now, easy, quiet down, it’s O.K.,” I said in what I hoped was a calming tone. But his flare-up shook me so much that I had trouble steadying my voice. …
When I tried to wrap an arm around him, he threw it off. “How are you?” I persisted.
He struggled to respond, then he spat a little sound — whgggggggg — as if he were blowing at a candle, followed by a parade of s’s. On he wrestled, and the more words eluded him, the more frustrated he became, until his temper boiled and his jaw opened and closed in silent damnation. At last, he glared at me. Suddenly he clenched his fists and thrashed his arms as he shouted, “MEM-MEM-MEM-MEM-MEM!”
I flinched, and seeing that he’d scared me, he quieted down.
“I wish I could understand you,” I said, more to myself than to Paul.
Editorial Note: KCBS-TV reporter Serene Branson apparently suffered an episode of aphasia while she was on air at the Grammy Awards that may have been caused by a transient ischemic attack (TIA or “mini-stroke”).
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