IN MY SHOES: Just To Pass The Time Away
In this Wall Street Journal op-ed journalist James Bovard recalls the summer job he had working as a 16-year-old flag man for the VA Highway Department assigned to a crew that made it a point of honor to “work slowly to slipshod standards”:
I did "roadkill ridealongs" with Bud, an amiable, jelly-bellied truck driver …
We were supposed to dig a hole to bury any dead animal along the road. This could take half an hour or longer. Bud's approach was more efficient. We would get our shovels firmly under the animal - wait until no cars were passing by - and then heave the carcass into the bushes. It was important not to let the job crowd the time available for smoking. …
To not shovel right, the shovel handle should rest above the belt buckle while one leans slightly forward. It's important not to have both hands in your pockets while leaning, since that could prevent onlookers from recognizing "Work-in-Progress." The key is to appear to be studiously calculating where your next burst of effort will provide maximum returns for the task. …
While I easily acclimated to this lethargy, I was pure hustle on Friday nights unloading trucks full of boxes of old books at a local bindery. That gig paid a flat rate, in cash, that usually worked out to double or triple the Highway Department wage.
The goal with the Highway Department was to conserve energy, while the goal at the book bindery was to conserve time - to finish as quickly as possible and move on to weekend mischief. With government work, time routinely acquired a negative value - something to be killed.
Bovard takes a dim view of federal training programs, such as the Comprehensive Employment and Training Act (1974-1982) and the Job Training Partnership Act (1983-1997), because “[t]he government has always been radically incompetent at imparting job skills or good work habits.”
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