Bank robber wasn’t devilish, just dopey
NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER: A bank robber walked into a First National Bank branch in East Anchorage and handed the teller a note that said:
You're getting robbed. Need money to see mom, don't ask any questions, my name is Satan, if you don't give me money I will kill you.
On the one hand, the teller should have known that Satan doesn’t have a mom; on the other hand, love of money is the root of all evil. Not wanting to tempt fate – the word “kill” sorta jumped off the page – the teller started gathering the money together. So as not to attract undue attention, the robber started writing a check to make it seem as though he were doing legitimate business and asked to the check should be made out to, Anchorage Daily News reports.
The check from the robber’s personal account was made out to First National for $1 million and signed by Satan Aubrey Leolin Haynie.
Satan Haynie was taken into custody a few days later in a church (!) after someone he had told about the robbery called the police.
[Hat Tip: Lemonfemale, a contributor to this blog.]
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