What it’s like to wait 77 years to reunite with daughter given up for adoption
IN MY SHOES: Minka Disbrow was raped as 17-year old while picnicking with her sewing class in rural SD, but as was customary in 1928 she was sent to a Lutheran home for pregnant girls. Much as Disbrow longed to keep the beautiful blond-haired girl born on May 22nd, she her to a Norwegian pastor and his wife. For years, Disbrow corresponded with the adoption agency to get updates on her daughter’s life but after a change of ownership, that tenuous connection to her was severed and all she had left was a black and white photograph of the baby, whom she had named Betty Jane again. Five years ago, Disbrow began praying that she would get the chance see her child again and it wasn’t too long before her prayers were answered, The Associated Press reports:
[T]he phone rang in her California apartment in 2006 with the voice of an Alabama man and a story she could have only dreamed. …
He started asking Disbrow, then 94, about her background.
Worried about identity theft, Disbrow cut him off, and peppered him with questions.
Then, the man asked if she'd like to speak with Betty Jane.
Her name was now Ruth Lee. She had … gone on to marry and have six children including the Alabama man, a teacher and astronaut Mark Lee, a veteran of four space flights who has circled the world 517 times. She worked for nearly 20 years at Walmart - and especially enjoyed tending to the garden area.
Lee knew she was adopted her whole life, and grew up a happy child.
It wasn't until she was in her 70s that the search for her biological parents began.
Lee started suffering from heart problems and doctors asked about the family's medical history. … Her son, Brian, decided to try to find out more and petitioned the court in South Dakota for his mother's adoption records. …
"I was looking for somebody I thought was probably not living," said Lee's now-54-year-old son. He typed Disbrow's name into a web directory and was shocked when a phone listing popped up. "I kind of stopped breathing for a second." …
A month later, Ruth Lee and Brian Lee flew to California. They arrived at Disbrow's meticulous apartment on a palm tree-lined street armed with a gigantic bouquet of flowers. …
"It was just like we had never parted," Disbrow said. "Like you were with the family all your life."
In 1928, women did not have access to legalized abortion, and back then it was apparently within the realm of possibility to love a child conceived in a rape. Now, pro-lifers agree with NARAL that rape victims would be additionally traumatized by bringing the blameless child into the world and giving it up for adoption so anti-abortion laws include an exemption for rape.
Actually, I think this is a case where the hard core pro-life movement compromises, knowing that pregnancy from rape is extremely rare. Rape is the one situation where a mother is not in any way complicit in the conception of the baby she is carrying. Therefore, the people who don't approve of avoiding the consequences of what you got yourself into will want a right to abort a baby conceived in a rape. So we cut a deal to get their votes to make almost all abortion illegal.
What I have heard at Right to Life conventions is that the woman who gets an abortion after being raped usually would be better off delivering the baby. This makes sense to me because these women are probably people who would not abort for any other reason, so are going to feel bad about it. So I can't say that we agree with NARAL. As far as I am concerned, there does not exist a spoon long enough to sup with those people. (Caveat: I have been in organized Right to Life for many years but I can't speak for anyone but me.)
Thank you for passing along this story. It is an honest-to-God miracle.
Reply to this